On overwhelm, from my fifth grader

Last Thursday, I found myself sitting beside Linor, my fifth-grade daughter, as she worked through her math homework on multiplying decimals.

I’m not usually involved, but that night was different. She didn’t want me to leave her side. She was overwhelmed by the sheer number of problem sets ahead of her. At one point, she grabbed at her hair with panic: “How am I going to get all of this done?”

‍As I looked over her shoulder, a few things became clear.

She was tired. It was already 7 p.m. She had a full day of school, followed by a two hour play practice, with little downtime in between.

She was rushing. Instead of slowing down and writing things out, Linor was trying to do the math quickly in her head.

And as a result, she was being careless. Decimal points slipped into the wrong places. Not because she didn’t understand the material, but because she had very little left in the tank.

I made the call to close her laptop (yes, they do homework online!). I told her she needed rest. She could wake up early the next morning to finish.

This homework challenge wasn’t about learning math. It was about endurance and focus. It was about layering the skills she knew (multiplication and addition) with great attention to detail.

I’m sharing this because so many of us are in a similar place. We're fried. We want to rush through our work. We get overwhelmed. We want to skip the tedious parts and just be done.

But what if the work in front of us is not just about the work? What if it is practice for something bigger?

A chance to strengthen patience.

A chance to build confidence in facing what we would rather avoid.

A chance to notice what supports our energy and what drains it.

That stretch is worthwhile. You may have the hard skills - but add the texture of workplace conflict, pressing deadlines, or uncertainty and you've got a challenge that helps you grow your capacity.

So often I hear leaders say, all I'm dealing with is people problems. I wish I could just do the work. Well, that is the work!

The next day, Linor realized that doing her math homework first, before her other subjects, would support her focus and capacity. She's beginning to become aware of how to manage her energy

What about you? What is the boring, or annoying, or overwhelming work in front of you right now that might actually be a practice for something deeper?

And what is one small strategy that could help you move through it with more ease?

Did this reframe help at all? I'd love to hear from you. Write back.

And if you're a leader looking for support for yourself or your team - let's connect.

My best,
Stella

P.S. I've been meaning to get a pic of Linor doing her homework all week but never got it. So here she is at band practice on Halloween - one of my faves

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