Part 4: For coping with change, uncertainty, and the anxiety that comes with it

This is part 4 of my series on uncertainty. I find this part fascinating personally. Here’s an excerpt from my book, The Work Happiness Method on how to cope with change and the anxiety that comes with it. P.S. If you like this...make sure to get the book!

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What we see is almost always a matter of perspective and not an objective reality. Anil Seth, neuroscientist and author of Being You: A New Science of Consciousness, calls this phenomenon controlled hallucination. Our unique experience of reality is based on a variety of inputs from our body, our unique past, and even the context of the moment.

We think we’re experiencing a common reality, but it’s more suggestible than it is stable. Because we tend to agree that the sky is blue, ice is cold, and the mountain is tall, reality feels agreed upon. Meanwhile, our mood can transform whether we interpret the question “Can we talk?” as a threat or an ordinary request.

In some ways, it’s easier for our brain to tag uncertainty as a threat. Remember that during any one second we’re receiving over eleven million bits of information from our entire body and our brain is paying attention to only forty bits per second. Our attention is like the lens of a video camera. And that camera is capturing the story of our life, or a version of it. Because we have limited perspective, and a negativity bias, if we’re not conscious, the camera will zoom in on all the things that are going wrong or that could go wrong. Cue the drama.

Uncertainty feels threatening because it’s associated with potential loss. When we worry about the future, we’re anticipating what to do if we lose something: a promotion, an opportunity, a relationship, or just the way things are.

Our brain hates losing more than it loves winning. Nobel laureate Daniel Kahneman and his associate Amos Tversky call this tendency loss aversion. Their research reveals that a person will be more upset about losing a hundred-dollar bill than they will be happy about finding a hundred-dollar bill.

The amygdala, the fear center of the brain, interprets any loss as a loss of resources necessary for survival. This then triggers a stress response. “What if the new boss will hate me and fire me? What if the presentation doesn’t go well? What if giving her constructive feedback will ruin our relationship?”

Because we spend more energy avoiding loss than focusing on potential gains, we make bad decisions...
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Don't check out, quit, or give up just yet. I know it's uncomfortable right now. But remember how we started this series? What if the best possible outcome is around the corner? The good news is that just as we’re wired to worry about the unknown, we’re also wired to embrace it. Stay tuned to learn about your natural capacity to thrive in these moments tomorrow.

And once again, holler! I'd love to support you or your organization in these turbulent times. What if we can make them the best of times?

Book a free exploratory call with me here: meetwithstella.com.

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