What your team isn’t hearing (but needs to)

Last week, I gave a client a simple piece of homework:

Catch someone doing something right. Once a day.

He paused. Then almost laughed.

Not because it was a bad idea - but because it felt surprisingly hard. And that hesitation told me everything.

Leaders who struggle to name what’s working well often end up with teams that feel unseen, disengaged, and burned out.

Because here’s the truth: Positive feedback isn’t about stroking egos or checking a box.

It’s about helping people understand where they’re effective - and why they matter.

When people don’t know if they’re doing well, they don’t just question themselves. They start to question their place on the team. And over time, the organization itself.

Most leaders believe they’re giving enough positive feedback. Most employees would strongly disagree.

So what actually works? Here are five ways to deliver positive feedback that people can feel and use:

1. Name the behavior, not just the outcome. Generic praise fades. Specific praise sticks.

“The way you structured that presentation—especially how you simplified the data on slide three—made it easy for the client to follow.”

Why it works: It shows people exactly what to repeat.

2. Connect the behavior to impact. Don’t just say it was good. Show why it mattered.

“Your follow-up with that client built a lot of trust. They mentioned how supported they felt, and it’s strengthening our relationship.”

Why it works: People want to know their work makes a difference.

3. Deliver it in the moment. Timing shapes meaning.

“I want to pause for a second—what you just did in that meeting, bringing everyone back to the goal, was incredibly effective.”

Why it works: The closer the feedback is to the moment, the more powerful it becomes.

4. Reflect effort, not just results. Especially when outcomes are uncertain or still unfolding.

“I know that project had a lot of moving pieces. The way you stayed steady and kept things organized made a real difference.”

Why it works: It reinforces resilience, not just success.

5. Let people feel seen, not just evaluated. This is where feedback becomes connection.

“I want you to know—I see how much care and thought you bring to your work. It doesn’t go unnoticed.”

Why it works: People don’t just want to be measured. They want to be known.

What you notice - and name - becomes what your team believes matters.

And when people feel seen, they don’t just perform better, they stay, they stretch, and they bring more of themselves to the work.

Try this today:
Catch one person doing something right. And tell them specifically what you see. Try with your team, your family, and your friends.

And please let me know how it goes!

P.S. Want to work with me to support your leadership or help you engage your team? Reach out.

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